Category Archives: Humor Unusual Weird

American Zombie Association Recommends Tampa Window Tinting, Advanced Film Solutions

In what could only be termed “shocking” news:


The American Zombie Association has totally endorsed  Advanced Film Solutions for their growing membership!

“Zombies are a growing marketing sector and having the Zombie American Nation firmly on our side is comforting” said the marketing manager for Advanced Film Solutions.


Why would a Zombie choose Advanced Film Solutions?

Well. .


UV rejection and cooler interiors preserve the Zombie deterioration. 
Mrs. Voorhees never had our window film installed. She was too cheap while alive and a real tight wad.

The sun wrecks havoc with a Zombies natural look and those Zombies who can still drive (read Driving Zombies To Death or Back Seat Front Seat Zombies, Zombies Publishing, 2007) prefer the glare rejection.


Zombies love Advanced Film Solutions
24/7 Sun Protection


For the Zombie that cares about the environment and takes going green seriously!

This Halloween Choose Advanced Film Solutions

Dedicated to our Zombie American neighbors everywhere!

Cash Only for Zombies- Your credit rating is way too low.



Thrifty Zombies Clipping Tampa Bay, Lutz, Land O’ Lakes Car Tinting Coupons


Things are getting rough out there in Zombie land.

Sure they need the UV rejection of our FormulaOne Car Films (for those that can still drive, of course) and where would they be during the day without the films that block the Sun and UV on their “homes”?


Still it amazes us that they have begun clipping our coupons from our website as well as the mailers we have sent out across Tampa Bay.
Where do they get their scissors and more importantly when do they find the time?
Don’t let a Zombie get the jump on you!

Halloween Specials for Zombies as well as red blooded humans like you who drive in the Tampa Bay area!

Call Advanced Film Solutions

Toll Free: 813-949-3456


Dead Man Tale, Home Window Tinting Tampa Bay Halloween Sale


Some say they see our old tinter at work when the clock chimes twelve on Halloween.

Small wonder. .


During his long tragic life he had solved so many glare and UV problems.
He worked long hours dedicated to stopping glare and harmful UV.

He helped lower electric bills by 30% a month!


He helped strengthen home protection from criminals.

Tinting was in his soul. .

Until all glare is solved; and homes become comfortable there is too much UNFINISHED business for him to rest.


This Halloween Call Advanced Film Solutions To Stop Those Frightening Cooling Costs!

If you are alive in Tampa Bay call Advanced Film Solutions toll free at 877-575-3456



Serious Value Seeking Zombies Grab Tampa Bay Formula One Car Tinting

We know that Vampires and “UV challenged” Zombies and the Un-dead are UV averse during daylight hours.

This is a systemic tragedy that deserves your deepest sympathy. (Think Save A Zombie Foundation)


This doesn’t mean that having their hearse window film has to cost them an “Arm or a Leg!” (tasty as that might seem!)

That’s why 9 out of 10* Vamps and “value conscious” Zombies choose Advanced Film Solutions!!
*the tenth walks or rather lurches as their motor skills fail them!


These discriminating blood suckers require 100% UV rejection and that’s what FormulaOne Car Films offer both our living and our un-dead clients!

  • Glare control for their light sensitive eyes! 
  • Reduces the heat and preserves what’s left of their outer skin!
Advanced Film Solutions is offering specials all month (year??) long!

If you know any Zombies or Vampires (and really who doesn’t?) looking for cool comfort tell them about Advanced Film Solutions!

OR – -Call 877-575-3456

We’ll stay open late (after sunset if that works better for you night owls!)


Tampa Bay’s  Leader Choice In Car Tinting For The Living and Un-dead Customer


Signed in Blood-New Tampa Window Tinting DNA Selling Technique

Lesson learned-Carry Band-Aids on estimates!



There is a skill in using a tape measure, “believe it or not.”
You know the type I mean. .
That metal tape measure that rewinds at the push of a button?              
Having sold commercial jobs for many years (the good old days?) I always had someone with me that would do the “take-off” measurements. 

This obviously was a whole lot easier than doing it myself!

Now taking accurate measurements is a fundamental skill and the consumer can easily tell if you have been around a tape measure before!

The first few estimates I gave were comedic with all the pure fumbling and bumbling with my new Home Depot bought ruler.

I could chalk it up to a new selling technique but several consumers simply grabbed the tape measure from me and offered to “do it themselves!”.

Well, like everything else in life; the more you do something the better you get at it.

After thousands of estimates I had become the “Wyatt Earp” of tape measure.

Fastest Tape Gun in The State!!
Sure enough I show up right on time (thank you GPS!) and rang the doorbell.

The conversation ensued and eventually it was time to measure and show off my well honed tape measure skills.

Somehow until that moment it had never dawned on me just how sharp the edge is on my trusty wonder measurer.

Now don’t get me wrong, you can’t shave with it, but I quickly discovered the sharp side of the force when I immediately sliced my thumb. .ouch!!

Remember this is the very first window and there’s at least 40 more to measure.

“Excuse me Mr. Prospective customer. .do you happen to have a band-aid???  Oops. .err. .paper towel??”

Plus. . I’m the type of nut that doesn’t react well to the sight of blood, particularly my own!!

Being the trooper I am- -I tried valiantly to measure the rest of the windows and write down the results on my quotation sheet. Messy- -messy.

Mr. Prospect says: “Are you OK?? You kind’a look pale.”

Just when I am about to calculate the totals, my thumb wrapped like a mummy with Bounty (that stuff really works!) who walks in but a local Solar Gard dealer!!

Sammy SolarGard says: “Cut yourself. .eh??” (leave it to him to be so observant!)

We exchange pleasantries- – I tell Sammy that the consumer had cut me as a warning to get the best possible price and that he sure got my attention!!

The customer laughed, but Sammy Solargard looked a bit concerned.

I assured my competition that I was joking. (Of course I didn’t explain how I cut myself taking measurements. 

I figure it’s a “Man Thing” best left private)

I hand my estimate to the customer a far distance away from Sammy.

Blood on the form and all.

I joked “that our business is signed in blood and that my DNA assures a quality job.”

“By the way. .I tell him. .this finger cutting technique is a new method of assuring that our customers remember us!”

“We’ll jump through hoops to earn your business!”
The conclusion?

We install Monday at 9 AM.

My finger still hurts like heck, and every time I pull out that tape measure I get a chill!!

The wonders of self employment!

Advanced Film Solutions